The One I Cannot Have
by Aisha with Issues
Summary: Yami has loved Yuugi from the time he met the boy. But becasue of his fear he could never tell Yuugi how he felt. Will he tell Yuugi how he feels, and if he dose what will be the boys recation?


Aisha: I don't own YGO. I wish that I did because I'd make it almost all about Seto, and Bakura, but I don't so it's mostly about Yuugi and Yami. Wooo! It's 12:48 in the morning! I'm sleepy! Anyway I was watching My DVDs and I just saw the part were Haga rips the card that he told Yami and Anzu was Yuugis soul. I love the way that Yami reacted. It was cute!! Sorta! Anyway after seeing the thing I got this urge to write a Yuugi X Yami no Yuugi story! Hope you enjoy!  
  
The one I cannot have  
  
You're soul has been my guiding light

You're happiness my one desire

So before my soul takes its final fight

Indulge my wishes for this hour  
  
You were the one thing I truly wanted

And with your face I am always haunted

But because of the morals to which we tether

We can never be together  
  
So come my love

Please come to me

For only you may set me free   
  
Aisha: Ya I know it sucks but still... Just deal with it...

It's been seven years....  
  
A whole seven years since I first met the light of my life.... The only person I ever loved. Sure when I was in Ancient Egypt I fell for Seth (who turned out to be my cousin...) and for a while I thought I might be in love with his reincarnation but that, no both of those loves were nothing like the thing that I feel now... The way I feel for Yuugi....  
  
Of course all three times the person that I fell in love with had someone else....  
  
I should have known. I mean we shared the same body, we both had ventured into the others mind but it still took me so long to figure out that Yuugi would never love me... At least not in the way I wanted him to.  
  
I knew right away that he was special, he wasn't just someone that I could inhabit and not care for, thought I didn't know how much I would care for him. I took care of him, protected him and fell more and more in love with him even wail learning that he was in love with someone else. The only fact that I can take comfort in is that the person he fell in love with was a girl.  
  
At least I didn't lose to another guy!  
  
...... I'm trying to kid myself again...  
  
It doesn't matter who it was that Yuugi fell in love with because it wasn't me. I glance up at the clock on the wall and know that I should be running to the church.  
  
I should be there for my aboui s wedding...  
  
But I can't bring myself to move from the bed.  
  
I've been sitting here for over an hour, just looking at all the pills that I've collected in a jumbled heap. All of the pill bottles in the house lay, scattered around on the floor near the bed and I don't really care at all. I just can't stand living without my light being with me. Can't stand us not becoming one soul, one person, one heart. Can't stand the thought of us always being so close and yet never being able to be together. I don't think that I would be able to stand something like that. Forever being near the person that I desire the most, the one person that I would give up anything and everything for, and yet never being able to really be with him. Never be able to touch him, feel him, love him.  
  
Always being near him, always being able to see him and yet never being able to have him...  
  
Eternal torture.  
  
Then again I deserve it don't I? In retribution for all the people I've hurt, all the lives I've destroyed, all the pain I've caused.... I deserve no happiness.  
  
I don't deserve him....  
  
Quietly I pick up the vodka that's sitting on the table near the bed and grab a handful of pills.  
  
My light doesn't need me anymore. He's grown up and can protect himself now. I've lost him.... Then again....  
  
Did I ever have him?  
  
I remember one time so very well. We were sitting on the sofa watching a movie and eating popcorn, and we were sitting so close to one another. I almost lost it and told him... His very preseason drives me crazy and make me want to tell him everything, give him everything... But when I was about to close the gap between us, and most likely widen it at the same time the door bell rang and he jumped up from the couch.  
  
"Yami, that has to be my date. Sorry I couldn't finish the movie..." I turned away from him at that point. "But if you want me to stay I can..." To my desperate person he sounded as if he wanted me to say yes, wanted me to have him stay, but then I realized that it was only me.  
  
"No, Aboui. Go, have a good time." I didn't bother to look at him as he left.  
  
I don't know why that one time always haunts me. It feels as if I lost something, or some chance at the time, but then I know that it's just me, just my desires playing tricks on me again.  
  
Absentmindedly I shove another handful of pills in my mouth. It's my fourth. I should be getting sick right now but I've already take a bunch of pills to stop that from happening.  
  
I will die this time.  
  
I cannot be with my beloved Aboui.  
  
He dose not need me anymore. I have been... outdone... I am outdated... As Kaiba would say I have become obsolete... I am... useless...  
  
I look at the picture of him that I always keep by the bed and I smile.  
  
"I love you..."  
  
( ) ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;   
  
"Hey, Yuugi, wake up man, everybody's waiting for you!" Jouno said as he poked his head into the bath room that Yuugi was in.  
  
The young groom was sitting on the floor of the bath room, holding his head in his hands.  
  
"Jouno... did my Yami come?" He asked quietly. The blond haired man walked into the bath room and looked down at the ground.  
  
"Sorry, Yuugi... He didn't come...." Yuugi sighed and ran his hands thought his hair.  
  
"Jouno I can feel something wrong with him, at least I think that I can." Jouno knelt next to his friend and patted his shoulder.  
  
"Come on Yuugi." He smiled at him. "Your wife-to-be can't wait to get the wedding moving." Yuugi looked up at his friend and smiled.  
  
"Right... Sorry. I'll be out in a minute." He said. Jouno looked at him for a minute and then nodded.  
  
"Okay.... And Yuugi," He said over his shoulder as he stood next to the door. "If you don't want to get married you don't have to. Everyone just wants you to be happy..." Yuugi looked up at his friend who smiled and then walked out of the room.  
  
For a few minutes more Yuugi sat there, trying to decide what he wanted to do. Finally he stood and walked out of the bathroom. Quietly, out the back so that no one would see him, Yuugi slipped out of the church.  
  
"Yuugi." With a jolt the man turned quickly and opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he realized who it was. Bakura (Yami Bakura) smiled as he sauntered over to him. He stopped in front of the tire haired man and took his bow tie and tuxedo jacket off.  
  
"I'm guessing I won't need these..." He commented, giving a sadistic smile. "But, you might be needing this..." He held out a large dagger. Yuugi stared at it.  
  
"What? Why would I need that? And were did you get it?" Bakura shrugged.  
  
"You just will and I stole it from the elf girl." He tilted his head to one side and smiled a bit wider. "Now go."  
  
Yuugi nodded and ran off.  
  
( ) ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;   
  
I'm still waiting for the end to come.  
  
How much longer must I be tormented?  
  
I can feel it coming. The end, that is. I've always had a bit of Necromancy in me and now I can use that 'gift' to feel my own end coming.  
  
"YAMI!!"  
  
Funny.  
  
Very funny.  
  
I'm thinking that I can hear my Aboui...  
  
"YAMI!!!!!!" I lift my head a bit and see that...  
  
Yuugi really is here!  
  
My light! My aboui! My love! He looks worried. Oh, that's so like him. To be worried about everyone.  
  
I'm dieing now. I know I am... It won't matter soon if he'll ever talk to me again so it doesn't matter if I tell him now.  
  
"Yuugi..." He rushes over to me and clambers up onto the bed with me. I have to smile as he takes my head in his lap. "Yuugi I... I" He hushes me by putting a finger on my lips.  
  
"Yami... I have to say... I've always loved you." He moves the finger from my lips. "I just didn't know...." As he has been talking he's been moving his face closer to mine. "If you loved me..." I smile up at him.  
  
"Yuugi. I have always loved you." I say as I reach up to touch his face. "And I always will..." He presses his lips against mine and I can feel everything that he's kept in him. The want, the longing, the desires.... The need....  
  
For a moment I think about the fact that we could have been together if ether one of us had had the courage to tell the other that we loved them...  
  
I push this thought from my mind and lose my self in the raptures bliss of the moment. If this would only last for a few moments longer...  
  
If I could just be with hi---  
  
( ) ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;   
  
Yuugi drew away from Yami as soon as he felt the mans body go limp.  
  
He had known this was coming... as soon as he had seen his Yami he knew, and he also knew that Yami was going to die no matter what he did...  
  
He hugged his now dead Yami to him and started to cry.  
  
He had just told his Yami how he felt and now he was gone? It shouldn't happen like this... The two of them should have their happy ever after.... But now....  
  
He could never have his happy ever after.  
  
Quiet suddenly he knew what the knife Bakura had given him was for...  
  
He would not outlive his Yami by much...  
  
He fumbled the knife out and pressed it to his throat. He looked down at his Yami one last time and smiled as he pressed the knife as deep into his throat as he could and pulled to from one side to the other.  
  
With a small gurgled sound he fell onto the bed next to his Yami. He smiled weakly at the man lying on the bed next to him, and thought he couldn't say it he thought.. 'I love you...'  
  
With the last of his strength Yuugi gently gripped Yamis hand. He continued to smile even as the darkness of Death came onto him.  
  
And so Yuugi died holding the hand of the one person that he really cared about...  
  
Aisha: Okay I know that it would take a lot longer for Yuugi to die from blood loss but I just didn't feel like writing a whole lot more so just deal with it. At first I was gonna have Yami die before Yuuig told him that he loved him but I decided that I was gonna have it be not that sad and at least let Yami and Yuugi know that they loved each other... So Ta-Da!! One of my first stories that was just Yami X Yuugi... I think that it turned out alright.... 


End file.
